What We Keep When Others Go

It was the boat party for me and my schoolmates for the batch of year 2008 this evening. We are celebrating the end of two years of high school in this little consortium of four campuses. At the time, I was confined into this mental thinking of failing to acknowledge the world that awaits for not only me but for everyone else in my school. After all we were all in the same boat. Some of us took a gap year, others found work, and the rest followed the most conventional path after finishing A-levels which is going to higher education. The world as we became more aware of it was suddenly both exciting and at the same time scary. Anyhow, the party lasted until 2am in the early morning. Everyone was really friendly to each other. I was talking to people I didn't even know went to my sixth form and dancing with people I've never even spoken to throughout those two years. There was quite a lot of people in our college.

It was finally time to say our goodbyes and wish everyone luck. I still had my champagne in my right hand. My friends were still taking pictures. The music was still so loud. I was still in love with the only person that ever mattered to me during those two years in this little, modest school in London that a lot of people may not even have heard of. And just like that. I never realized it until some time later. I would eventually have to finish drinking the champagne that I was holding. Everything that happened tonight will just be instilled into this little luminous paper. Motionless, still, just now a memory. Someone would soon turn off the loud music. And most importantly, we would all be happily wishing everybody a prosperous life and saying goodbye.

In the 400 school days we saw each other we looked at each other in the eyes, hugged and spoke for the first time. My eyes blood-shot. Breathing suddenly felt like a struggle. Everything flashed like a white ray of light that pierced through anything that was on its path. I was numbed. The truth hit me. 

We were all truly leaving, moving on and giving way to the next generation to experience what we had with hopes that they do it better. 

There will be others. More than we can comprehend. They're everywhere we go and we'll meet some of them. Some of these other people will eventually establish some kind of a connection with us - which we call a relationship. Some of these connections will be strong, weak, confusing, platonic, friendly and others we will just disregard. They will be there for different varying sets of time; for days, for months, for years. But at some point, they would all have to end. 

There are many different kinds of connection we establish with anyone. We tend to categorize them into distinct types - friendships, associates, schoolmate, marriage but they're all fundamentally the same thing. With some people, we would care for them too much; we start feeling what they feel, experience their thoughts, absorb their values and explore things about each other's selves and the world together.  Everything is temporary. These things happen all the time. The connection will end whether it be travelling for two weeks in another country, spending two years of high school with each other, or 60 years of marriage. If nothing else ends it, death will take it away. 

This could only mean one thing. Life is a solo trip. In our journey we will encounter an endless parade of visitors. They will all appear significant especially at the period of time they came. You may not immediately realize their purpose, why they were put in your path, how they would help you grow but you can be sure that they are there for your trip and eventually they will get off their stop because they too are journeying like you. We will encounter a lot of people who will just come and go into our life without us noticing it much. Some others we will decide to be special. Our relationship would overlap and we will care for them too much. At any given moment, at any time of our life we can look at our life as a collection of experiences that we have acquired from events and being with other people.  You come to realize they played an integral part in your personal development.

Though the inevitable truth still remains. All relationships are temporary. They change from time to time and are replaced by new ones. You'll be drinking champagne again, taking photos, attending a new party and meeting new people. If it was a special someone you would have to be saying goodbye to it may be a heavy, very personal and sensitive experience. Their presence still lingers on with you. You truly feel their absence in your life. But you open that door and they're still there. Just on a different place, on a different time.