How To: Get Over Someone

Whether you are recovering from a break-up, letting go or moving on from losing someone that once meant a lot to you can be very devastating. You may have gotten used to seeing him/her everyday, doing everything and sharing things together. But now time had changed, and things are not what it used to be. The cause of the relationship going downhill is getting the toll of you and you are at the stage where you have decided to let go and move on. I myself have gone through this experience and indeed it took a lot of me. But I got over that hurdle. At least six times in my life already at the age of 21. But only a couple of them were really serious ones. And if I could get over them, you can definitely do too. Seriously. 

Below are some of the things I found effective in helping me move on. Some of these points are general: from others experiences my friends and family alike I have researched them. In this way you can see that the scope of effect did not only work for me but also to other people too:

1.) Erase Everything That Reminds You Of Him/Her

This is the easiest. Probably the easiest part in the process of moving on. Well, this usually is the case for me. If done well, it can give you the chance to start anew again with a new slate at a quicker time. In my experience I had an intense infatuation with one of my colleagues in university. We both shared the same mutual circle of friends. The only thing not mutual between us was our feelings for each other. In Cliff's Note version of the story, in the end I wanted to get over the infatuation so bad. In order for me to do this, I avoided all contacts and connection that would link us together. It was tough, cruel and harsh but I just had to realize that this person was a waste of time. I started by blocking and deleting all connections from social networks, deleting phone numbers and then finally being able to just ignore contact when we meet by accident. It was really effective. If you have any possessions or anything that belongs to him/her even gifts, if you really want to move on you will get rid of all of them. In your own time of course.

2.) Hang Out With Friends As Much As Possible

Your friends are going the be most useful tool in helping you move on. Psychological studies reveal that suppressing your emotions is unhealthy. Whenever you feel like crying, do not hesitate. Let it all out. If possible get your friends and ask them to be your crying shoulder. As I got over my first heartache and the second and the third I cried  less and less. Until I reached the point where I needed my friends to be my crying shoulder not as much anymore. Nowadays every time I wanted to get over someone, me and my friends would just go out clubbing and have fun. Take your time to feel every bit of emotion that you are experiencing from the heartache. Remember that this is a part of life and if you survive most of the time it makes you a stronger person. Months later, me and my friends would just reminisce about the moments I drunk myself to sleep or spent an entire pub crawling all the night clubs in Central London. This can happen to you too (maybe not getting absolutely bladdered that you don't even remember your own name). Treasure your friendships. Ask them for help. That's one of the reasons they are there for you.

3.) Busy Yourself. A Lot

This method is my second favorite. On the first few days, its easy to feel like you have lost all purpose in life. That you have no more direction. But you will not succumb to this feeling. You need to focus your attention to other more important things. The most effective hobby I have discovered to put out all my frustration was doing something that requires a lot of moving like going to the gym. All I could ever think about on days I was depressed was exhausting myself until I have no more energy. During my exercises I would focus on just bettering myself physically. There is nothing more regrettable and annoying to someone than realizing the one you let go is living an active, healthy life and still going on about their own business as if nothing happened. Make them realize that the world does not stop for them and they were never that as big a part in your life as they thought or imagined. Motivate your own self. Use these negative feelings as a means of inspiration. Don't let it eat you up. 

4.) Meet New People

The most effective method I have ever practiced and my number one favorite. There truly are other amazing, nicer more worthy of your love people in this world. Although this was not as effective in my first heartache, it certainly prove its use on my later encounters. Put in your mind that no one is perfect and see the object of your affection as humans themselves. Like you, me and everybody else you know and will ever know, we are all just humans. See them just as they are and stop worshiping them like they are gods or goddesses. We are far from it. Once you realize their extra-ordinariness is not really that extraordinary you will find it easier to spot their flaws and other things that you now finally think the reasons why you do not want to be with them ever. Join a dating site. Don't think about what others think about online dating. Go to the club alone. You don't have to have your friends with you to do your own thing. Put yourself up back in the world. Introduce yourself to other people. You don't necessarily have to have the intention of finding a new love interest - which would make you appear desperate, you are just simply knowing and meeting new people.